My dear Community, we need to talk. We can talk about civility, respect, honor and even compassion- for all of these values are at risk. My heart aches for how I sometimes see people treating others in the times of their deepest grief and sorrow. I am referring to something that happened this past week – and unfortunately this week was not the first time. One of the difficult parts of a pastor’s job is officiating at a funeral and trying to bring hope and comfort to those who are bereaved. After the service there is the funeral procession – a ritual that is as old as the Bible where families and the entire community would carry the deceased on a bier and take them to the outskirts of town for the burial. In Bible days this trek was on foot – in the days gone by in our American culture we did it by horse and buggy and today we have a hearse and a procession of cars that make this sad and difficult journey to the grave side. There is instruction and safety concerns made for the modern day funeral procession that begins either at the funeral home or the church before the actual journey commences. The funeral director instructs all those going to the graveside to stay close and follow traffic laws. They will also tell the drivers that in a funeral procession they may drive through a red light if the lead vehicle passed through that intersection while the light was green. Then as mourners return to their cars they are instructed for safety reasons to turn on their cars flashing lights – and then for an extra measure of safety the funeral director places either a red sticker on the windshield saying “FUNERAL” or a flag on the roof of the car. Their efforts work – everyone in the community knows that there is a funeral procession passing. And that is where my concerns arise. The funeral directors, the mourners have done all that they can possibly do to insure safety in traveling but yet my dear community, so many of you are getting frustrated, annoyed, aggressive and nasty when a funeral procession crosses your path. When the lead car signals the attention of the driver sitting at the light at the crossroad that a funeral is passing – (yet another safety measure) far too many people respond by throwing their hands up in the air, pounding the steering wheel, throwing a hissy fit, and even cursing us out. I know for I am in the lead car and I see this poor behavior. We can read your lips - we know what you are saying. The behavior of our community often becomes the topic of conversation between the pastor and funeral director for the next few miles as we lead the deceased to his final resting place. This is so very sad. Usually after the lead car, is the hearse and then follows the immediate family in the next cars along with their friends. I sure hope that they do not get to witness that bad attitude and behavior from their neighbors at the time of their greatest loss. But sadly I know – they have seen their neighbors, their community act out. This past week a frustrated driver not wanting to wait an extra minute aggressively pulled forward trying to cut through the procession as we made a left turn on to another road. I watched from the passenger seat, side view mirror, in horror that this driver was so impatient that he could not let 8 more cars have the right of way before he attempted to crash through. The family did not need this aggression especially at this time in their life and no one needs to be put at risk because of the incivility of one driver. Folks, lets slow down and think about what is at risk here. I believe we are at risk of losing our humanity –our ability to empathize and be with and for someone in their pain, if all we can think about is our schedule and our own importance. Yes, when a funeral passes it may mean that I will miss this next green light. But thanks be to God I am just missing a green light – and not my loved one. Let’s put things into perspective. Let’s take some guidance from Jesus. In Luke the 7th chapter we read: 11 Soon afterwards Jesus went to a town called Nain, and his disciples and a large crowd went with him. 12 As he approached the gate of the town, a man who had died was being carried out. He was his mother’s only son, and she was a widow; and with her was a large crowd from the town. 13 When the Lord saw her, he had compassion for her and said to her, “Do not weep.” Jesus had compassion on those who were part of that procession. He stopped to think about what the death of this young man meant for the widow. She already buried her husband and now she was burying her only son. Jesus had compassion for her. He understood how difficult her life would be with no one there for her. My dear community – the next time a funeral procession crosses your path – please take a moment to slow down – and to think about what this procession means for the family and the friends of the deceased. When I see a funeral procession cross my path – I always say a prayer for the family that God would comfort them and surround them with love and hope in the days to come. Yes, at times I will admit that I too, become a bit focused on myself and my agenda and I am frustrated by the momentary delay – but I still try to show respect and civility. For me the best way to do that is prayer and sometimes that prayer is, ‘Lord forgive me for being disturbed that this procession is interfering with my life. Help me to see others with your eyes of compassion.’
